Wednesday, April 2, 2014

This is my mission and I am the author...

This week has been emotionally rough. I feel like I am not a missionary anymore but I know I am. 

This week, myldsmail got deactivated, my name isn't showing up on my ward directory that I am an assigned missionary, my account says I am not an "in field missionary" and I don't know. It is just all these little things, I know Satan is doing this but I feel like a fish out of water. I know I am still set apart as a missionary but I miss my mission in Ecuador so much. I wish I was still down there in Ecuador and working, meeting, and teaching people. That I was assigned to a companion. That I had someone to drive me nuts every once in a while. :D I miss it so much and things are just going so slow here with my medical stuff. I know there are other people in the world that have things way worse off then me. I think more than anything I was not prepared for this at all. I knew that I needed to follow the guidance I had received from the Lord, and I did. So I don't feel angry with myself. I know I am just letting all of these little things get to me.
Sunday Family Dinner with my sister and niece

This week I am going to fast for the strength to recover and the strength to keep my animos up. I know that the Lord is with me in all of this. I have seen his tender mercies in the two weeks I have been home now. He has continued to answer my prayers. I see it every day. Yesterday I asked that my medical doctor would call me so I could go see the stomach doctor this week, and this morning they called and I have an appointment this Thursday. So he continues to answer prays. I just need to continue to follow all of my missionary guidelines and study, ponder, and find comfort in the scriptures. 

I have also been going out with the sister missionaries here so that has helped keep my mind on the work of the Lord. I know that I can help anywhere I am needed and just because I am not in Ecuador doesn't mean that I am not a missionary. I just have to keep allowing myself to be edified in the work. On Sunday as I prepared for church, I heard the smallest whisperings to my soul, that this is my mission and that the Lord and I are the only authors. That brought so much comfort to me in this emotionally hard week.

I just think of that each time someone asks me why I am back home and why I have not been released from my mission call yet. I know that Savior has a plan for me. I am anxious to know what that plan is. But while I am here at home I know that I am a missionary too.
My sister-in-law

I also thought I would share what my week has looked like in photos...they are not my typical photos since I am at home but I thought I would share anyways.

Tonight, I had the great opportunity to teach my little nieces and nephews about the Treasures of the Gospel and we had a treasure hunt so I hope that explains some of the photos. I miss going out and teaching people, but this week I will be going out with the missionaries here in my ward more. So that I can help them as much as I can.

Love always, Hermana Weller

Family Home Evening with my nieces and nephew 
Cupcakes for dessert

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